I understand that there are mixed feelings on this topic because not all people believe there is only one person out there for them. I guess I understand both theories though. I get that all people have different traits and not one person can have every quality that we may be requiring, creating them to be one of a million ‘the one’s’ but I like to live in a fairy tale world where there is a perfect man out there just for me who is my ‘Mr Right’ my ‘The One’. It makes life more interesting trying to find him.
I often wonder if I have met him already and I just didn’t realise at the time that he was the right guy for me. I tend to live a fast paced life and sometimes when your head is going a million miles an hour you forget to look properly and the good ones slide through the cracks.
So this leads me to the conversation I ended “The first phone call” blog with.
My beautiful housemate who I cherish dearly is going through quite a few man issues at the moment with a guy she was in a relationship for a while and now starting to rekindle the flame with (except he is leaving to go overseas, bummer!)
I took her out after New Year’s Eve which was a bit hard on her and we spoke about life and boyfriends and the future and what we want from it. We somehow got on to the topic of ‘The One’ and ‘The One that Got away’. She too is like me, she believes that there is a special someone out there for each of us; it’s just a matter of finding him. And so we went through men we had met who were perfect but for some idiotic reason we let go. I won’t go into hers as they are personal but I am happy to share mine. I had two to start with and then deleted one because I truly believe the one I am going to mention is 100% the one that got away. I want to poke myself in the eye for being such a bitchy, arrogant fool for not giving it a shot.
Meet, ‘The Hot Neighbour’. I had been in a relationship for 4 years and needed a change, a new lease on life so I moved with a relatively new friend to a shoe box apartment in St Kilda (beach side community, 5km from the Melbourne CBD). I was trying to reclaim lost years and it was in the heart of the action, close to bars and the beach. I was loving life.
On the day we moved in, the two neighbours, who lived above us in separate apartments (think open aired apartment block, a little Melrose Place) came out to meet and greet us. Both were two very tall and Handsome men in their late 20’s and insanely nice. I immediately knew I would fall for the guy who lived upstairs and above my bedroom ceiling (people who know this guy say he looks like Ryan Gosling. I don’t know if I see it but yes he is gorgeous). Weeks passed, flirting eventuated, he would invite me upstairs to his balcony for a drink after work yet nothing ever happened.
One Sunday I planned a little get together with my girlfriends, which involved a few too many bottles of wine and beer. When the hot neighbour got home he came to join the party however with all the flirting going on I didn’t pay attention (no, I was just drunk) and I dropped a whole 6 pack of beer on a hard cement kitchen floor. It smashed. I had no shoes on so he picked me up in his arms and carried me out of the room, then proceeded to clean my kitchen and all the glass. I was 100% smitten and in love with this guy.
After the party ended we stayed up together and chatted and watched a movie.
I am not a shy person however I find it really awkward being or trying to be sexy, I struggle with it and even to this day I am shocked at what I did next on this particular night.
At some point during the beginning of the film I just turned to him and ripped off my singlet, sitting there on the couch in my skinny jeans and lace bra with a big grin on my face. He pounced on it and well I am sure you can figure out the rest of the evening.
I remember asking him why he never made a move on me and he said he wasn’t sure if I liked him or not so he thought if he flirted enough I would either make a move or tell him to back off. It worked!
The next day I went to work, it’s not like I had to go far to get home. I got home from work and he messaged me asking if I wanted to come upstairs and hangout with him and my hangover. I said no! I thought maybe he was just booty calling me (he 100% was not).
In the weeks that followed and me ignoring him, I met a guy who I will call ‘Candy’. He was a total dickhead who was short and wore the tackiest shoes (think white wedding shoes from the 80’s and they fit me, the guy had the same size shoe as me) but he made me laugh. He came over one Friday night and we ordered a pizza, when there was a knock on the door Candy went to answer, I heard him say “here is $50 mate” and then I heard Hot Neighbour say “sorry, what! I live upstairs”. I came out from the kitchen to see my handsome and sweet neighbour looking baffled. Candy introduced himself as my friend but hot neighbour knew what was going on. He said he was dropping by to see if I wanted to have a drink then followed on with a “goodnight” and went upstairs. For the remainder of my time living there, we barley spoke. When I moved I didn’t even say goodbye.
4 years later and no contact with him I was on Facebook and he appeared in my ‘people you may know’. I don’t generally add new people unless they are actual friends but I had not seen him in ages so I tried to add him. He accepted and we chatted via Facebook for a while. He was living in a new place and suggested we catch up for coffee. I agreed and went to meet him. He was still as beautiful as I remember. We went for a walk to get a coffee and never ended up getting the coffee because we were talking so much, I was fixated on what he was saying. We got back to his apartment and it became awkward, as though even years passed I was still that bitch that freaked and shunned him. I told him it was getting late and he walked me to my car, told me it was great seeing me, gave me a hug and let me drive off. A week later he touched base with me, I told him I would take him to my favourite noodle house close by but nothing eventuated. He wasn’t into me and so I hve let it go.
I think this guy is the one I will always think ‘what if’ about. My friends loved him, I loved him and a small part of me resents myself for not going and hangover hanging out with him. He is the guy you marry and live happily ever after with!
I have however used this as an experience with men. I might not be 100% ready for a relationship like I wasn’t at the time with Hot Neighbour. I enjoy being single and being selfish but if this beach guy who I recently met is as amazing as he seems and I see it going somewhere, I am not going to run for the hills. I am going to hold on tight and enjoy it because I don’t want to look back and regret letting another amazing man slip through the cracks.
Do you have someone you let get away?